Why you should stop spending money on YOU

For those of you who know much about me, you know that a little over 2 years ago I lived a very different life.  I had a big house, a fancy job and enough money to live what most people consider a very comfortable life.  I was however, very unhappy.  The money did not make me happy and it did nothing but fuel reasons for me to stay in a very unhealthy marriage.

Fast forward…today I live a very simple life.  Most of the time I have little to no money to spend on myself and when I do have some, I absolutely hate spending it on me.  My son? The wonderful man in my life?  Yes, without question.   But I never want to spend it on me. 

The life I live is not for everyone, but it suits me just fine and I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world!! (I guess that kinda goes without saying though)  🙂



Sex. Everyone has it. Why are we ashamed of it?

Warning!  The following is a soapbox rant about society’s definition of “appropriate”.

I had a conversation with a friend recently regarding sex and I simply cannot understand why society has taught us that having sex, wanting sex and talking about sex is a bad thing.  Maybe it’s religion, maybe it’s politics or our old fashioned puritanical roots but whatever it is I think it’s messing with people’s heads and lives unnecessarily.

Not everyone feels comfortable discussing sex the way I do and I understand that.  But when people realize that I am and they start talking with me about it, somewhere in the convo they always stop & say “I’m sorry, that was wildly inappropriate” or something similar to that.  What I find sad is that 9 times out of 10, I don’t believe that they have been.  Sure every once in a while someone gets a little excited, but even then I’m not insulted.  We’re all just human beings.

Flesh is exciting.  Sex feels good. Yes, it’s the ultimate expression of love but some people use it solely for pleasure and others to numb out pain.  No matter what bottom line, if you aren’t hurting anyone (ie: lying, cheating, raping etc) then you shouldn’t feel bad about it.  You have a lot of sex?  That doesn’t make you a sex addict.  In my opinion that term has caused a lot of perfectly normal people tons of pain. You aren’t a slut either.  You are are a human who is acting on his or her most basic urges.  Stop beating yourself up so much.  That being said, in my opinion, you should still be safe about it.  No one wants to have to deal with an unwanted pregnancy or an STD.

You may agree with me or you may not but either way, try not to judge too quickly or to harshly.  One man’s sin…




I am overjoyed about today’s Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality although personally, I no longer believe in the institution of marriage. Yet I still believe that everyone should have the right to marry if they wish to do so.

I was married for 10 years and the best part of the whole debacle was the wedding. (Yes, I throw one hell of a great party.) 🙂 As I’ve emerged into my new life I’ve decided that I don’t need the government involved in my relationships and I don’t want a piece of paper to tie my life to that of another human. I want love to connect us, I want to know my partner is with me because of our intense connection and not because a contract holds us together. I want to wake up everyday knowing that I am loved because of me and not for tax purposes.

This is my opinion for ME and me alone. I still love weddings and I will probably always cry when I hear a proposal story. Plus who’s to say that I won’t one day hold another grand party (only without the ceremony before hand)? Yet I’m also keenly aware that I may change my mind some day and decide to take the plunge again (although I seriously doubt it) but I will allow myself that freedom because…who the fuck knows what the future holds.

For now, I will revel in today’s announcement and witness the love that flows from so many who are finally free to legally marry the ones they love. I lift my glass to all of you and wish you all the happiness in the world.

Cheers my friends. Let Love Rule!

#MarriageEquality #LoveWins #LoveChangesPeople

My New Life

The life I lead today is completely different from the one I lived just 2 years ago. Back then I had a big house, an expensive car & a high-powered career. I was never a materialistic person, but I had aquired a lot of “stuff” and I spent way too much money on food and “entertainment”.

Today, I live in a small apartment, I’m broke most of the time and I walk to my job at a boutique store (I no longer own a car). I’m almost always behind on my rent, and sometimes I miss fancy restaurants, but if I’m truly honest, I absolutely love everything about myself and my life today and I wouldn’t go back even if I could.

I challenge you dear followers to take a long, hard look at your life and I encourage you to make changes to anything that you don’t like. It may not be easy but I promise it will be worth it. Don’t be afraid anymore. Live life on the edge. It’s way more fun out here!!

Just because I discuss sex doesn’t mean I want to do it with you

Yes, I’m a woman and yes, I enjoy sex. If you’d like, I’ll be happy to discuss it with you regardless of YOUR sex or orientation for that matter. Does this mean I want to fuck you? Does my willingness to talk about it make me a slut? A whore? Very recently I was told that it does, and with all due respect I couldn’t disagree more!

Men, let me ask you a question: Do you feel comfortable discussing sex with your male friends? I think a large majority of you would answer yes. In fact, you probably thoroughly enjoy discussing your wives or for the single guys – your new conquests. You most likely make jokes about all kinds of sex and laugh it up about the friend who isn’t getting any. Now, let me ask you this: Do you want to fuck any of these guy friends you are laughing with? No? Then why the hell do you think you think that’s what my motivation is?

Now, for the women who look down their noses at me for discussing sex so openly: Please stop holding your sisters back! It’s no wonder we’re deemed the “weaker sex”, we allow society to tell us what we can think, wear, how we can act, speak and even what we can talk about and with whom? I say, FUCK THAT SHIT! We have a brain in our heads that’s equal to that of our male counterparts, we have wants and desires, we want to be treated equally and our minds are just as dirty as a man’s (or at least mine is). So, ladies please stop biting your tongue and talk about it!!!

Talking Sex Is My FEMINISM!
Oh yes I said it, feminism! One more time just for shit & giggles – FEMINISM! The word has such a negative connotation these days and it’s sad. If human equality is the basis of the idea, then shouldn’t we be free to express ourselves to each other in whatever way we see fit?

So, consider this my feminism soapbox. Women should be able to crack jokes and discuss our wants / desires openly with whomever we choose. If it happens to be a man, then please don’t assume that we want to fuck you. (Trust me if I want you, I will make it abundantly clear.)

My message is really simple:

Men – Stop thinking with your dicks and let a woman speak her mind. If you’re cool about it, you might just get in her pants. Or you may not, but your chances are probably much higher if you try it this way.

Women – It’s okay to let your freak flag fly. Don’t be shy, join the conversation. You know you want to!


‪#‎30DOT‬ ‪#‎DoYou‬ ‪#‎LoveChangesPeople