I’m not perfect, far from it…but if you are going to attempt to love me, then it’s important that you know that I will try really hard to keep you from doing just that.…
In the past I’ve hurt my friends and family, and I’m sure that I will do it again. I’ve lied and not followed through on promises. I forget things (a lot lately) I miss birthdays, anniversaries and funerals. I never call when I say I will, and sometimes I hide in my shell and don’t come out for weeks. I push away anyone who might love me just to see if they will come back. I expect the worst out of everyone so that I’m not disappointed when they give it to me. I refuse to ask for help and I’d rather be alone than to impose on someone. I come off as aloof because I try so hard to act like I don’t care when in all actuality, I really care more than you will ever know.
I cry every single day and there’s nothing you can do about it. I give away my love as fast as I can, in hopes that I’ll forget what’s happened in my past. I’m impulsive and reckless, loud and sometimes (okay a lot of times) obnoxious and I hardly ever act like an adult. Some of these things are just me, but others I know need to be addressed and if you will try to love me, then I promise to try to change what makes it hard to do just that.